parenting Archives - Page 2 of 2 - Oh My Heartsie Girl

July 3, 2018

Challenges Parents Face in Modern Society

Parenting is never straightforward, and there is not one right way to go about it. Parents have always been under some degree of public scrutiny when it comes to how they handle their relationship with their children, but never more so than in modern society. Nowadays, parents are sold all these different beliefs of what it takes to be a good parent and are pressured into buying all of the available resources which are meant to teach them the best way to look after their children. In fact, from baby books to parenting classes, a whole industry has been built up around telling people how to raise their children. However, with there being one thousand and one different views on the matter, how are people meant to know who is right and who is wrong?

No matter what style of parenting you might have, from a liberal and free-range approach, to what might be considered a more traditional parenting style, all parents are now facing challenges that weren’t a concern a few decades ago, and it is causing many parents to feel at a loss of how best to tackle these issues. Here are just a few examples of the new and unprecedented challenges which parents have to face in the current day and age.

Increasingly high expenses

Over the last decade or so, the cost of raising the family has grown exponentially. Not only are all of the basic essentials becoming more and more expensive to buy, such as clothes and food, but there is also an unspoken pressure on parents to spend more in order to be the best. For example, whereas twenty years or so ago a lot of information regarding having a baby was conveyed through word of mouth, now new mothers are expected to shell out for pre-natal classes, one hundred and one books on different things, and a team of experts to talk them through all of the best birthing positions.

Then, as children get older, the types of toys they want to play with, and clothes they want to wear are also frequently going up in price, and parents often feel compelled to keep up with the latest trends of what other people are buying their children. Especially in this digital age, where technology is at the heart of modern society. When it comes to things such as the holidays and birthdays, children often expect to be given all of these expensive pieces of technology, always craving the newest models and latest designs.

All of this starts to put a strain on parents whose earnings don’t quite keep up with the rise in costs. It is this downward spiral that often leads people into getting themselves into debt, or missing payments. As a result, people struggle to find companies who will agree to give them the loans or financial support they need, although there are some companies, such as Bonsai Finance, which will still offer loans to people who are on the ASNEF lists.

Societal pressure and fear of judgment

Raising children used to be a very private affair, and the personal business of individual people was not really commented on by anyone who was not inside the family or a close friend. Nowadays, parents face a lot of scrutiny from other people, as so much personal information is available publically. Of course, in a lot of ways, this is a good thing, as it means that issues which can occasionally arise within families, such as mistreatment of children or domestic issues, are made known and can, therefore, be dealt with through the appropriate channels.

However, in another sense, this open nature of modern society also puts an immense amount of pressure on parents to be ‘the best.’ There are so many different conflicting messages that parents receive on what they are supposed to do with their children: Is vaccination good, or does it cause harmful side effects? Are children better off in public schools where they learn to socialize with a broader demographic, or are the better off in private education? If private education is better, where do you get the funding from? What’s the best way to discipline a child now? There are so many different options, with people ready to criticize you no matter which one you choose, that it can be difficult for people to feel as though they are good enough parents for their children.

Protecting children against new threats

Once, the only thing parents had to worry about guarding their children against was not talking to strangers. Now, many children face a new threat which many parents are struggling to protect their children from: the dangers of social media. With an ability to connect with almost anyone online, children are now being faced with influences across the world who could potentially pose a danger to their wellbeing.

Social media was initially created as a way for people to connect with friends and family with whom they may have lost touch, but now it has become a way of life for many. Whereas children used to have idols who were more in the public eye, they now idolize men and women who make money promoting products for money on their social influencer channels. Through this, more and more children are sucked into the world of wanting the current fashions and ‘must have’ items, because that’s what their role models are telling them.

Not only that, but as children set up these social media sites, they are also posting pictures of themselves across the internet. This has the potential to make them vulnerable, both from online predators and also from online bullying. This is an issue which is truly difficult for parents to resolve, as they face a choice of whether to allow their children on the internet and risk this form of cyber attack or to not allow them the same privileges as other children and have them be cut off from their peers.

These are just a few examples of the challenges which modern parents are facing. There is no set manual on the best way to deal with these issues, and many parents are having to navigate their way through these problems by putting aside their anxieties, making the best decisions they can within the moment, and hoping that they don’t face too much judgment from their peers on the choices that they make.

June 22, 2018

4 Ways to Help Your Teenager to Live a Healthy and Balanced Life

The teenage years bring about a large number of unique parenting challenges. In our current society, one of the main issues that plague parents is the apparent disconnect between the upbringing that you experienced and that which your child is experiencing. For instance, nowadays social media is an integral part of our daily lives. However, this was not the case a few years ago. Thus, as a parent to a teenager, you need to learn new tactics and strategies on how to raise your children in a way that propels them towards living healthy and balanced lives. Here are 4 important ways to do this:

Practice what you preach

It is often said that the best way to teach someone is not by telling them what to do, but rather actually doing it yourself. This is the unspoken rule when it comes to parenting teenagers. Since they are old enough to understand various issues of life, you can be certain that teenagers will be scrutinizing your actions on every opportunity that they get. For instance, you cannot tell you children not to drink and drive and yet they see you doing the same. Ensure that your actions line up with your instructions.

Promote a healthy diet

Since your teenage children still depend on you for food and other basic needs, you need to take advantage of this by providing healthy and nutritious meals at home. When you have healthy food in your home, you will be helping your children to develop good eating habits that will stay with them until adulthood. Be sure to provide a balanced diet with enough proteins, carbohydrates and healthy fats. For instance, you can purchase Eastern Long Island pasture finished beef which tastes so amazing and is also packed with numerous vitamins and nutrients.

Be aware of their mental health

As mentioned previously, our current society is heavily dependent on social media for interactions and social connections. Unfortunately, this has also opened an opportunity for major vices such as cyber bullying. An article on the CNN news website states that one of the main causes of teen suicide is cyberbullying. Hence, as a parent, you should do your best to be aware of your child’s mental health by creating time to talk to them. Furthermore, you should also be keen to recognize signs of depression and other mental health challenges.

Help them to decide on a future career path

Your child’s teenage years are a significant period during which they begin deciding on which career path they would like to follow. It is very important for you as a parent to walk with your child in this journey by providing advice and wise counsel wherever possible. If your child doesn’t have an idea of what career they wish pursue, you could assist them by pointing out special skills and talents that they have. At the end of the day, your role as a parent should be to support your child and encourage them as they get started on their journey of life.

June 4, 2018

Dealing with a Cranky Riser 3 Tips on How to Get Your Son Out of Bed

Toddler temper tantrums are a thing of legend as all parents of 2-year-old boys know. And not getting up in the morning is one of the most challenging of their behavioral quirks as they interfere with your morning routine and can make you late for work. Dealing with these issues requires a lot of patience, clever motivation, and perhaps even a rearrangement of your going to bed routine.

3 Tips on How to Get a Toddler Out of Bed in the Morning

1. Find the root of the problem

The majority of issues with getting your child out of bed are caused either by their emotional outbursts or by the boy being genuinely too tired to rise. Your primary task is to determine if your child gets enough sleep.

According to NHS, toddlers should get 11 and a half hours of sleep at night and a daytime nap of an hour and a half. However, WebMD and many other sources claim that toddlers require up to 14 hours of sleep a day. At this age one 1-2 hour nap is the standard, so do some simple calculations to understand whether your kid is getting the sleep they need.

Don’t forget to consider issues like night terrors or other problems that can prevent the child from sleeping soundly. If your son doesn’t have such problems and is in good health, the problem is most likely caused by behavioral issues, most often it’s an attention seeking thing.

2. Be calm and don’t waver

Learning not to react in anger to child’s tantrums and take a breath is one of the basic parenting tips for a 2-year-old boy. This skill will be most important when dealing with a child who doesn’t want to wake up in the morning.

What you need to do is to stay calm and follow your morning routine paying no attention to the pleas of ‘5 more minutes!’ and the like. Simply take the child out of the crib and proceed to the bathroom.

3. Motivate the kid to get out of bed

Consider offering some incentives that will help you get a toddler out of bed faster. You can combine this with an educational lesson on using the clock. Have an electric clock within your child’s line of sight and explain that they will get a treat if they are at a breakfast table by the time certain numbers appear. For example, you can use watching an episode of their favorite cartoon as a treat and explain that if he isn’t up when you say, he won’t have the time to watch the cartoon.

It’s very important to use treats as a short-time measure and last resort only. While motivating your kid is good, getting them into a habit of getting treats is not good. That’s why you should use the healthiest and ‘non-treaty’ treats you can think of, like a walk in the park, educational show, etc. You should also slowly withdraw this kind of motivation so your kid gets used to getting up on their own.

January 31, 2018

Positive Discipline Techniques Every Parent Should Know

A Few Positive Discipline Techniques Every Parent Should Know

Parents With Child — Image Source: Pixabay

Today’s parents looking for tips on how to effectively discipline their children need to learn more about positive discipline. Positive discipline involves encouraging your child rather than punishing them and instilling a mutual respect between parent and child that will last a lifetime. Check out some popular techniques below and start building a better relationship with your child today.

Positive Discipline Techniques

Look for a meaning behind the bad behavior.

Most children want to behave well for their parents and when they act out there is often more going on than just the temper tantrum at hand. You want to give your child the benefit of the doubt when they misbehave and figure out the root cause of the problem. Sometimes it is simply their age and sometimes it has to do with you.

Were they behaving fine until you ignored them and began speaking on the phone instead of looking at animals at the zoo? Could certain foods be affecting their mood negatively? Too often parents want their children to understand adult behaviors before they had time to learn them.

Control yourself.

Learning to control yourself and keep a cool head in the heat of the moment is probably the most important technique to remember for positively disciplining your child successfully. As the parent, you must model the behavior you wish to instill in your children. Yelling only leads to more yelling, hitting only leads to more violence.

If you feel yourself getting past the point of control, try to count silently to ten in your head, take a few deep breaths, or walk away until you can speak calmly and rationally. Showing your frustration and anger can reinforce the misbehavior rather than stop it and keeping your tone in check is key. Try singing instead of yelling at your child if you find it difficult to keep a calm tone.

Baby boy on the grass crying and having a temper tantrum — Source: Pixabay

Set clear expectations and be consistent.

Too often parents will ignore a bad behavior in the hopes that it is just a stage and the troubles will pass soon. Usually, that is not the case and the behavior becomes an established part of the child’s personality. Setting clear expectations for your child makes it easier for them to understand what is good versus bad behavior.

Once you set these expectations, you must reinforce them at every given opportunity. If your child is playing with other kids in the park and bites one of them, you must shut it down immediately by telling them the behavior is not acceptable. If they continue to bite other children, you must remove them from the situation entirely and get them to recognize that when they do not listen, they lose their privileges.

Acknowledge good behavior, not bad behavior.

The most common reason children act up is to get their parents’ attention. If they act up in a manner that poses no threat to themselves or anyone else, it works better in the long-run to ignore the behaviors that you do not appreciate and only respond when they change their tactics. So if your child begins to cry because they cannot have the juice they want this instant, go ahead and let them cry until they realize it will not get them what they want.

Redirect, do not just discipline.

Once a kid hears “No!” or “Don’t do that!” enough times, they often begin to ignore them. Obviously, continuing to use these phrases does you no good and only devalues their conversational worth. Rather than repeating “No” over and over again, it may be time to start redirecting your child to replace their bad behavior.

Rather than telling them not to yell or scream while in the grocery store, have them help you pick out some cereal or fruit, or help to rearrange the items in the grocery cart. Getting their attention focused on something else can help stop the misbehavior without needing to discipline at all.

Little girl covering her ears and screaming so she does not listen to her parents — Source: Pixabay

Exploit your lack of energy.

Raising children is exhausting, especially when they do not behave as they should. You can use this lack of energy to your advantage, however, by bringing it up when trying to stop the misbehavior. You can tell them that if they keep it up, you will not have enough energy to take them out to play later, etc. See how quickly things start to calm down.

Do NOT bribe!

No matter what, no matter how frustrated or tired you get when trying to correct bad behavior, it never pays to bribe your child into being good. They learn that they can manipulate you into giving them things by acting up. If you want to reward your child for good behavior, do it by spending more quality time with them doing things that they want to do, rather than buying them toys to keep them happy.