Wonderful Wednesday

Good Monday to you, as we start our week, I am praying for anyone in Ida’s path,  that they got to safety before it hit, wow what a terrible storm.

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How to Help Your Child Find a Practical Hobby They Love

 How-to-help-your-child-find-a-practical-hobby-they-loveIt’s easy to despair if your child seems to just spend all of their spare time gaming on their PlayStation – rather than pursuing what you might consider a more ‘useful’ hobby. In other words, one you could more easily imagine translating into a lifelong passion and possibly even a rewarding career for them.

While you don’t want to act dictatorial towards your little one, there are still little things you could do to nudge them in the right direction.

Help your child to live by the ‘Rule of Three’

“People often take on too many responsibilities. This eventually leads to frustration. The US Marine Corps and other military services use the ‘Rule of Three’ as a general principle,” neuroscientist Tina Seelig says as quoted by Good Housekeeping.

Therefore, if school is one of the three things your child would be capable of handling on a regular basis, this would leave them with two other things you could encourage them to do as hobbies.

Don’t try to rush your kid into finding a passion

Contrary to a belief that seems popular in some quarters, your child isn’t a lost cause if they fail to find a burning passion by the age of 5. Only a small proportion of children actually do reach that high bar.

This was confirmed in a seven-year study conducted by William Damon, director of the Stanford University Centre on Adolescence. This research into 12- to 26-year-olds found that, as Damon explains, “the majority of adolescents and young adults … were searching for a direction in life but had yet to find it.”

Don’t worry if your child abandons a hobby

“Parents get frustrated when their child doesn’t stick with something,” Katharine Brooks, the author of You Majored in What?, acknowledges. However, most kids give up an activity when they realise that it is harder than they originally expected.

Your child might still make it to the next stage of learning, where they decide to work hard to master the activity that once daunted them. So, if they do quit something, just be patient.

Encourage your kid to simply do whatever they enjoy

“Any healthy passion, anything your child enjoys, should be encouraged,” Damon insists – even if your child doesn’t seem naturally adept at it.

You could be pleasantly surprised by what eventually results if you prioritise finding something your child enjoys rather than necessarily something that plays to their strengths.

Look for hobbies you could do with your child

There are plenty of hobbies that would fall into this category – like photography, drawing, painting and felting, as LifeSavvy explains. These are all also examples of activities that could help your child to develop individual interests they would be able to indulge away from you as their independence grows.

For example, if your child enjoys driving a ride-on car bought for them from RiiRoo, this could spark a broader interest in cars.

[…]
 Gardening for kids: 5 Links to get your child more involved outdoors
A Guide to Buy the Most Adorable Write-On Kids’ Labels

Wonderful Wednesday

Hello Fall, I finally felt the cool air which is a precursor to much wanted cooler temperatures after such a hot summer. My plants are responding with new leaves, poor things, they have struggled. I actually have some pumpkins on the vine, will see how they do over the coming months, it would be the only thing I grow since way early spring and a handful of cherry tomatoes. How has your garden grown?

And on a much more serious note, please pray for all Americans, Military and those that helped our military in Afghanistan to get out safely. ✞✞✞

So let me Welcome you to this weeks party #273 since I started counting, we hope you enjoy the features, we are waiting for you to share from your blog! Please take a minute to introduce yourself, we’d love to get to know you, and comments are golden.

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What Are the Most Common Reasons for Divorce

15-Common-Reasons-For-DivorceEver wonder why the divorce rate is so high? Although every couple is unique and every situation is different, relationship experts have noticed some recurring patterns. What-Are-the-Most-Common-Reasons-for-Divorce

Here are fifteen common reasons for divorce, according to a relationship expert:

1. Infidelity

This one certainly isn’t a surprise. Cheating on a partner is a huge reason for divorce, mainly due to broken trust. Whether infidelity happened once or multiple times, it’s hard to restore trust and rebuild your relationship. (Although not impossible if both partners are willing to put in the effort!)

2. Financial problems

Debt, mismatched spending patterns, or different tolerances for financial risk can definitely lead to divorce. Money is a huge stressor in relationships which can cause other areas of your relationship to feel strained. Financial stress can slowly break down the marriage, ultimately causing separation or divorce.

3. Lack of intimacy

Romantic, physical, and sexual intimacy are super important parts of any long-term romantic relationship. Though it is common for sexual intimacy to decline over time (especially after the sexually charged honeymoon phase of the relationship), it’s important that intimacy doesn’t completely disappear from your relationship. A lack of intimacy can lead couples to feel disconnected from one another, which can cause divorce.

4. Substance abuse issues

Though we normally think of substance abuse issues as an individual struggle, they have serious effects on both partners in a relationship and can often lead to divorce. Substance abuse issues are often coupled with lying, deception, and erratic behavior, which can tear down trust. Substance abuse can also lead to codependency in the relationship, which changes the overall dynamic for the worse. If you’re unable to break the cycle of codependency, it will likely lead to divorce.

5. Inability to resolve conflict

Arguing occurs in every relationship, but if partners are not able to resolve or deal with conflict in a constructive way, it can lead to resentment and eventually divorce. It’s important to work on improving communication skills to help stop your arguments from escalating to unhealthy levels.

6. Marrying too young

While there is no such thing as the perfect age to get married, there is such a thing as getting married too young. People that get married before they have solidified their identities as individuals, or if they haven’t experienced much of life on their own, may feel trapped in a marriage.

It’s important to live your life to the fullest or at least accomplish what you want to as a single person before getting married. If both partners are not excited about being married, this attitude can bleed into all aspects of the relationship and cause a marriage to end in divorce.

7. Marrying for the wrong reasons

People that get married for the wrong reasons often end up divorcing their partner after realizing they’re not truly compatible in the long term. Marriage is about love, commitment, shared values, and a vision for the future. If you get married for the wrong reasons (i.e., because it’s what your friends are doing or you feel pressure from your family), the effort involved in maintaining the marriage just won’t seem worth it, which can lead to divorce.

8. Abuse

Emotional and physical abuse can certainly lead to divorce. When either happens, it’s difficult to end the abusive cycle and turn your toxic relationship into a healthy one. Though it is not impossible to move past abuse in a relationship, it is uncommon given the relationship dynamic.

9. Differing values, interests, and priorities

Marriage is about sharing your life with someone, which requires being on the same page about your values, interests, priorities, and goals. It’s impossible to have a successful or lasting relationship if you’re not, which ultimately leads to divorce.

10. Lack of communication

In addition to trust, communication is at the core of any successful relationship. If you and your partner are not able to communicate effectively, the relationship is not going to work out! This includes everything from expressing your wants and needs in the relationship, setting healthy boundaries, and learning to resolve conflict. Without good communication, other areas of your relationship can suffer, leading to divorce.

11. Unrealistic expectations

Marriage is hard! It’s important for people to realize the amount of work it takes to make it work. If you and your partner go into a marriage with unrealistic expectations and expect that everything will be fun and easy, then you won’t be prepared for the realities of a lifelong partnership. This can eventually lead to divorce.

12. Lack of equality

Above all else, marriage should be a partnership between equals. Sure, you and your partner will bring different things to the table, but it’s important that your contributions are equally respected and that you both have a voice and a say in the relationship.  If there is a lack of equality in the relationship, partners can feel overlooked and underappreciated which can lead to feelings of resentment and divorce.

13. Differing thoughts about starting a family

When partners are not on the same page about having children (whether it’s through natural birth, adoption, fostering, etc.), it can lead to huge problems in a relationship. Thoughts about starting a family are fundamental to spending the rest of your lives together, and not something that should be compromised. (Which is why it’s important to discuss it before you tie the knot.) If you and your partner have differing thoughts about starting a family, this can be a real reason for divorce.

14. Parenting style differences

If you and your partner do start a family or do have parenting responsibilities from past relationships, it’s important that you have compatible parenting styles. Disagreements about the approach to parenting can lead to divorce if couples are not able to communicate and get on the same page. Parenting relates to religious beliefs, morals, expectations of responsibility, views on punishment, and conflict resolution. Some of these beliefs are only made apparent when parenting, and differing views have the potential to undermine the foundations of your relationship.

15. Problem-solving in your relationship

If things are not going well in the relationship, or if you want to make improvements to your relationship, it’s important that you and your partner are on the same page about how to approach any problems. Therapy is an excellent option for couples that are looking to improve their relationship, but it requires both partners to be open to the process. If you and your partner are not on the same page about how to approach problems in your relationship, then your relationship may end in divorce.

Using The Relish App
While all of these things could lead you and your partner to divorce, not all of these reasons have to end in divorce. It’s possible to work through almost all marital problems and salvage your relationship, especially when you have the help of relationship experts on your side. Relish  is a relationship coaching app that helps couples evaluate their relationship and set and achieve relationship goals. (All from your phone!)

Marriage isn’t an easy journey by any means, but if you’re both committed to a life-long partnership, you can work through just about anything to avoid divorce and keep your relationship thriving.

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