What You Can Do To Help Your Child Through a Divorce

What-You-Can-Do-To-Help-Your-Child-Through-a-Divorce-is-ensure-your-children-that-it-isnt-their-faultHelping Your Child Through a Divorce

If parting ways is difficult enough for both parents, imagine for a child who probably thought mom and dad’s bond was unbreakable. Separation isn’t an easy process for anyone, but the right approach helps all involved to go through the situation without friction.

In the US, around 40 percent of couples go through a divorce, making it a common experience—not any less difficult, though. However peaceful and no-fault a breakup may be, the couple’s children will show some form of discontent. Whether that’s sadness, anxiety, or irritability, the parents should expect negative reactions.

The fact is, these reactions are short-lived. But while times are tough, there’s a lot you can do to help your child.

Break the News Together

It doesn’t matter if the relationship ended in good terms or not, telling a child about the divorce should be a mutual decision. Both parents should agree to set a date and time to talk about the separation. This shouldn’t be a time to blame or point fingers at each other, as the child will need more support than ever.

While older children might have a better idea of what’s been going on around the house, the news will likely come as a shock for young children, especially if the parents have been keeping the arguments private. In certain ages, the minds of children won’t understand why mom and dad won’t be together and might jump to the conclusion that they don’t love each other anymore. As a parent, it’s your job to counter that.

You can start by telling younger children that mom and dad won’t be living in the same house. Dad (or mom) will live somewhere else, but you’ll both still love your child unconditionally. Reassure your child that she will get to see both of you and that none of you will “go away”. Even as the age goes up, never forget to tell your child that the situation isn’t their fault.

Keep Fights Out of Earshot

In the case of an unhealthy relationship, conflict is expected. However, what’s between parents should stay between parents and away from the children. That has to do with the potential mental health issues fighting in front of your children can cause. Seeing dad being bad to mom (or vice-versa) will not only make a child scared to be treated that way, but it can give him a bad example of how relationships should work. Also, arguing about who gets custody can confuse a child and make them think someone’s going away forever, which isn’t the case.

Therefore, parents should keep child custody and family law matters between themselves and a good attorney, and only talk to children about matters they understand, such as answering questions about when they’ll be able to see the other parent.

Of course, you’ll need a good family lawyer to settle your divorce, someone as experienced as these family lawyers in Brisbane. Choosing someone with years of experience in family legal services will help you move on from this difficult time without conflicts.

Offer Emotional and Psychological Support

Encourage your child to talk about their fears, and listen to them without judgment. Answer all kinds of questions she might have, as difficult as they might be to answer. If she has any signs of child anxiety, it might help to send her to a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). With the assistance of a professional, your child will change their thought pattern and positively accept the situation as it is.

Is your family religious? If so, the VBS program teaches kids about the story of God and his forever love. Children, especially younger, won’t have to try and read the whole Bible to understand that they’re always loved and protected from above.

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The sooner your child understands what’s going on, the better—especially if she knows it’s not her fault and there’s no reason for concern. Constantly remind her that mom and dad’s love will remain regardless of what happens, and they’ll never feel like there’s a missing piece in the family.
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How Does the Judge Resolve Child Custody Disputes?

  Factors-the-Judge-Considers-When-Deciding-a-Child-Custody-CaseChild custody is by far one of the most difficult issues to resolve in a divorce case. Both parents usually want custody of the kids, and it can be a huge battle to see who wins. It’s important to always keep the child’s best interests in mind when trying to resolve child custody disputes. 

What’s best for the child is the main consideration a judge will think of when deciding on child custody matters. That being said, how does a judge decide what the best interests of a child are? 

The judge will consider many different factors. It’s usually a good idea to have a Rancho Cucamonga family law attorney help you if you’re going through a divorce and child custody is one of the issues you’re trying to resolve. Read on to learn more about what the judge will consider when deciding a child custody case.

Factors the Judge Considers When Deciding a Child Custody Case 

The judge will examine all aspects of a child custody case. They want to be fair to everyone involved, and they want to make sure they are doing right by the child. Children usually need both parents to grow up well adjusted, so most judges will try to ensure that a child spends time with both parents. 

A judge will usually only take custody away from a parent if they truly believe that the parent is causing harm to the child or could cause harm to the child.

Below, are some of the main factors a judge will consider when deciding on child custody.

The employment status of both parents will be looked at. The judge wants to see how the child will be taken care of financially. If you’re unemployed, that doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t get custody of your child. For instance, if you were a stay-at-home parent, you could still get custody when other factors are taken into consideration.

The relationship of each parent with the child will be examined. Which parent provided the majority of care, support, and love for the child? Is the child bonded with one parent more than the other? The judge will not want to damage the bond between a child and their primary caregiver.

The judge will look at whether there were any issues of domestic violence or substance abuse. If the child was abused or in danger from a parent, the abuser will likely not receive custody of the child. That does not mean that the parent can never get custody or visitation. Custody and visitation can be fluid, and you can go back to court when you are more stable if you wish to be a part of your child’s life.

Where the parents live always plays a role in custody matters. If one parent lives far away, the custody will have to be split in a way that allows the child a sense of security and stability.

The judge considers many other factors. These are just a few to give you an idea of what factors could play a role in decisions involving child custody.
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