What Are the Most Common Reasons for Divorce

15-Common-Reasons-For-DivorceEver wonder why the divorce rate is so high? Although every couple is unique and every situation is different, relationship experts have noticed some recurring patterns. What-Are-the-Most-Common-Reasons-for-Divorce

Here are fifteen common reasons for divorce, according to a relationship expert:

1. Infidelity

This one certainly isn’t a surprise. Cheating on a partner is a huge reason for divorce, mainly due to broken trust. Whether infidelity happened once or multiple times, it’s hard to restore trust and rebuild your relationship. (Although not impossible if both partners are willing to put in the effort!)

2. Financial problems

Debt, mismatched spending patterns, or different tolerances for financial risk can definitely lead to divorce. Money is a huge stressor in relationships which can cause other areas of your relationship to feel strained. Financial stress can slowly break down the marriage, ultimately causing separation or divorce.

3. Lack of intimacy

Romantic, physical, and sexual intimacy are super important parts of any long-term romantic relationship. Though it is common for sexual intimacy to decline over time (especially after the sexually charged honeymoon phase of the relationship), it’s important that intimacy doesn’t completely disappear from your relationship. A lack of intimacy can lead couples to feel disconnected from one another, which can cause divorce.

4. Substance abuse issues

Though we normally think of substance abuse issues as an individual struggle, they have serious effects on both partners in a relationship and can often lead to divorce. Substance abuse issues are often coupled with lying, deception, and erratic behavior, which can tear down trust. Substance abuse can also lead to codependency in the relationship, which changes the overall dynamic for the worse. If you’re unable to break the cycle of codependency, it will likely lead to divorce.

5. Inability to resolve conflict

Arguing occurs in every relationship, but if partners are not able to resolve or deal with conflict in a constructive way, it can lead to resentment and eventually divorce. It’s important to work on improving communication skills to help stop your arguments from escalating to unhealthy levels.

6. Marrying too young

While there is no such thing as the perfect age to get married, there is such a thing as getting married too young. People that get married before they have solidified their identities as individuals, or if they haven’t experienced much of life on their own, may feel trapped in a marriage.

It’s important to live your life to the fullest or at least accomplish what you want to as a single person before getting married. If both partners are not excited about being married, this attitude can bleed into all aspects of the relationship and cause a marriage to end in divorce.

7. Marrying for the wrong reasons

People that get married for the wrong reasons often end up divorcing their partner after realizing they’re not truly compatible in the long term. Marriage is about love, commitment, shared values, and a vision for the future. If you get married for the wrong reasons (i.e., because it’s what your friends are doing or you feel pressure from your family), the effort involved in maintaining the marriage just won’t seem worth it, which can lead to divorce.

8. Abuse

Emotional and physical abuse can certainly lead to divorce. When either happens, it’s difficult to end the abusive cycle and turn your toxic relationship into a healthy one. Though it is not impossible to move past abuse in a relationship, it is uncommon given the relationship dynamic.

9. Differing values, interests, and priorities

Marriage is about sharing your life with someone, which requires being on the same page about your values, interests, priorities, and goals. It’s impossible to have a successful or lasting relationship if you’re not, which ultimately leads to divorce.

10. Lack of communication

In addition to trust, communication is at the core of any successful relationship. If you and your partner are not able to communicate effectively, the relationship is not going to work out! This includes everything from expressing your wants and needs in the relationship, setting healthy boundaries, and learning to resolve conflict. Without good communication, other areas of your relationship can suffer, leading to divorce.

11. Unrealistic expectations

Marriage is hard! It’s important for people to realize the amount of work it takes to make it work. If you and your partner go into a marriage with unrealistic expectations and expect that everything will be fun and easy, then you won’t be prepared for the realities of a lifelong partnership. This can eventually lead to divorce.

12. Lack of equality

Above all else, marriage should be a partnership between equals. Sure, you and your partner will bring different things to the table, but it’s important that your contributions are equally respected and that you both have a voice and a say in the relationship.  If there is a lack of equality in the relationship, partners can feel overlooked and underappreciated which can lead to feelings of resentment and divorce.

13. Differing thoughts about starting a family

When partners are not on the same page about having children (whether it’s through natural birth, adoption, fostering, etc.), it can lead to huge problems in a relationship. Thoughts about starting a family are fundamental to spending the rest of your lives together, and not something that should be compromised. (Which is why it’s important to discuss it before you tie the knot.) If you and your partner have differing thoughts about starting a family, this can be a real reason for divorce.

14. Parenting style differences

If you and your partner do start a family or do have parenting responsibilities from past relationships, it’s important that you have compatible parenting styles. Disagreements about the approach to parenting can lead to divorce if couples are not able to communicate and get on the same page. Parenting relates to religious beliefs, morals, expectations of responsibility, views on punishment, and conflict resolution. Some of these beliefs are only made apparent when parenting, and differing views have the potential to undermine the foundations of your relationship.

15. Problem-solving in your relationship

If things are not going well in the relationship, or if you want to make improvements to your relationship, it’s important that you and your partner are on the same page about how to approach any problems. Therapy is an excellent option for couples that are looking to improve their relationship, but it requires both partners to be open to the process. If you and your partner are not on the same page about how to approach problems in your relationship, then your relationship may end in divorce.

Using The Relish App
While all of these things could lead you and your partner to divorce, not all of these reasons have to end in divorce. It’s possible to work through almost all marital problems and salvage your relationship, especially when you have the help of relationship experts on your side. Relish  is a relationship coaching app that helps couples evaluate their relationship and set and achieve relationship goals. (All from your phone!)

Marriage isn’t an easy journey by any means, but if you’re both committed to a life-long partnership, you can work through just about anything to avoid divorce and keep your relationship thriving.

WATCH:

8 Tips for Keeping Your Loved Ones Calm and Sane During a Move

8-Tips-for-Keeping-Your-Loved-Ones-Calm-and-Sane-During-a-Move

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Relocations can be challenging for the entire family as they’re overwhelming and change our lives to a large degree. While the process can be exciting, the fear of the unknown and the drastic change can take their toll on everyone’s mental and emotional well-being.

Moves are often chaotic, but you can also consider them bonding opportunities for the family – fun activities that can bring you closer together and help you stay sane. Read on to find out how to feel your best and pass the positive energy to your loved ones.

1.    Declutter As Much as You Can

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Though some people find it boring, decluttering is actually proven to help you bring order into the chaos of long-distance moving and feel in control. Make it easy on yourself and throw out as much as you can. There’s no fun in doing a copy-paste of your old life in the new adventure, so why transport all the belongings. Make a cut, and don’t doubt it. An extra tip here is to donate to charity as you’ll do an act of kindness to yourself and the less fortunate.

2.    Call Professional Movers on Time

Doing it all on your own is a proven recipe for burnout, so don’t risk losing your cool. Reliable movers will know just what to do and how to help you with everything you need. And booking a top-rated long distance moving company can make you feel less stressed out as you’ll know that you have a crucial aspect of relocation covered.

3.    Label All Your Boxes

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This can go a long way since you want the movers to leave your items in the spaces you intended and have a better idea of where everything is. It will only take a short time, and if you skip it, it can be a real drag on top of all other things to consider. So, do it by all means.

4.    Keep Your Essentials Close

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Pack up a bag for you and all other family members. It should go with you, and you should have it at all times. In case there are some unpredictable circumstances you’ll be ready, and even without those, trust us, you’ll be way too tired to unpack the first day. With kids, this step is even more important. You know you’ll need all your senses as a parent, so act on it and think of everything they might need.

5.    Hire a Babysitter to Take Care of Your Kids

Don’t spread yourself too thin because there’s no need to. Find a friend or a babysitter to take care of your little ones while you are busy with movers, and they’ll benefit much more that way. Kids can feel your stress and anxiety, and you don’t want to make them extra cranky as they’ll already have the difficult task of adapting to the new environment.

6.    Do the Same for Your Pet

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Pets are also extremely sensitive, and closing them away while you’re involved in the move is a big no. They won’t understand, and you can cause them to feel depressed and abandoned. Get a pet-sitter instead and allow your pet to spend the last pleasant hours in the old town.

7.    Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself

As many obligations as you’ll have, don’t forget the basics. Eat implementing the nutrition tips that can improve health and hydrate properly because you’ll need fuel to get everything done. This sounds rudimentary, but many people get lost in the face of all challenges and realize they’re starving only hours later. So, do yourself a favor.

8.    Have Understanding for Your Family

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In the end, we all know that moves are times of high uncertainty, so the most important tip you can take with you is to have patience and understanding for your loved ones. Your kids might be super fussy because they feel sad, are scared of making friends anew, or simply feel like they had no say in the decision. Or your spouse can irritate your guts because they’re also exhausted and nervous. Remember that you likely annoy them as much as they drive you up the wall, but that it’ll all be fine at the end of the day.

Wrapping up

Like we said, moving is stressful, and we all deal with stress in different ways. The best way to deal with it is to try to be as organized as possible and minimize the inevitable chaos. So plan ahead, label everything, and be understanding towards your loved ones. That way, you won’t be tearing your hair out during the process – you might even have fun!

What You Can Do To Help Your Child Through a Divorce

What-You-Can-Do-To-Help-Your-Child-Through-a-Divorce-is-ensure-your-children-that-it-isnt-their-faultHelping Your Child Through a Divorce

If parting ways is difficult enough for both parents, imagine for a child who probably thought mom and dad’s bond was unbreakable. Separation isn’t an easy process for anyone, but the right approach helps all involved to go through the situation without friction.

In the US, around 40 percent of couples go through a divorce, making it a common experience—not any less difficult, though. However peaceful and no-fault a breakup may be, the couple’s children will show some form of discontent. Whether that’s sadness, anxiety, or irritability, the parents should expect negative reactions.

The fact is, these reactions are short-lived. But while times are tough, there’s a lot you can do to help your child.

Break the News Together

It doesn’t matter if the relationship ended in good terms or not, telling a child about the divorce should be a mutual decision. Both parents should agree to set a date and time to talk about the separation. This shouldn’t be a time to blame or point fingers at each other, as the child will need more support than ever.

While older children might have a better idea of what’s been going on around the house, the news will likely come as a shock for young children, especially if the parents have been keeping the arguments private. In certain ages, the minds of children won’t understand why mom and dad won’t be together and might jump to the conclusion that they don’t love each other anymore. As a parent, it’s your job to counter that.

You can start by telling younger children that mom and dad won’t be living in the same house. Dad (or mom) will live somewhere else, but you’ll both still love your child unconditionally. Reassure your child that she will get to see both of you and that none of you will “go away”. Even as the age goes up, never forget to tell your child that the situation isn’t their fault.

Keep Fights Out of Earshot

In the case of an unhealthy relationship, conflict is expected. However, what’s between parents should stay between parents and away from the children. That has to do with the potential mental health issues fighting in front of your children can cause. Seeing dad being bad to mom (or vice-versa) will not only make a child scared to be treated that way, but it can give him a bad example of how relationships should work. Also, arguing about who gets custody can confuse a child and make them think someone’s going away forever, which isn’t the case.

Therefore, parents should keep child custody and family law matters between themselves and a good attorney, and only talk to children about matters they understand, such as answering questions about when they’ll be able to see the other parent.

Of course, you’ll need a good family lawyer to settle your divorce, someone as experienced as these family lawyers in Brisbane. Choosing someone with years of experience in family legal services will help you move on from this difficult time without conflicts.

Offer Emotional and Psychological Support

Encourage your child to talk about their fears, and listen to them without judgment. Answer all kinds of questions she might have, as difficult as they might be to answer. If she has any signs of child anxiety, it might help to send her to a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). With the assistance of a professional, your child will change their thought pattern and positively accept the situation as it is.

Is your family religious? If so, the VBS program teaches kids about the story of God and his forever love. Children, especially younger, won’t have to try and read the whole Bible to understand that they’re always loved and protected from above.

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A Guide for Parents, Guardians, and Educators

The sooner your child understands what’s going on, the better—especially if she knows it’s not her fault and there’s no reason for concern. Constantly remind her that mom and dad’s love will remain regardless of what happens, and they’ll never feel like there’s a missing piece in the family.
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Online Dating – Crucial tips to stay secure while registering for an online dating site

Essential tips that you should exercise to stay secure while dating online. That way you can enjoy your dates without inviting any hassle.Online Dating 

Not everyone wants to stay alone! Some people are waiting to start dating the person meant for them. Often meeting the person perfect for you is not possible while you are at work or a family event. Chance meetings are rare! It is the reason why most people today are opting for the top black dating portals to meet the girl or boy they always wanted to be with. The success rate and popularity of these sites are increasing with every passing. And sometimes, people do find the love their life through black dating sites.

Creating a website online is an easy task today! And this brings us to a prominent threat – what if the dating site you have registered to is faulty and fake. There have been instances of sites that have created a duplicate profile of their users and caused havoc. It is essential to search for an authentic online dating website. To know more about this, you can check out http://thebestblackdatingsites.com.

However, few other guidelines that you need to keep in mind include the following:

  1. Check the URL

A faulty dating website will, in most cases have a questionable URL. You will notice it the moment you see it online. Check for the URL and compare it with the other black dating sites and you can spot the difference. That is not all. Even the content of the website will appear slightly doctored. If you don’t feel like registering in an online dating site because it lacks authenticity, you should trust your instinct.

  1. Keep a strong password

Sometimes, even the best websites get hacked because of cyber-attacks and other online phishing attacks. Hence, you must choose a strong password. Don’t create a password that links to your mobile number, date of birth, bank account number, and the like. Create a secure password which is a blend of letters, numerical, and symbols. That way, you can secure your dating profile from getting hacked. Also, akin to your email, make sure that you change your password after six months. It helps you stay secure.

  1. Don’t reveal everything about you all too soon

Even though online dating sites today implement their security check tactics, but you never know who’s on the other side of the screen or profile. Hence, it is a quick call to not to divulge every detail about you when you meet a person online for the first few times. Take your time to assess the person and the share essential details. It will help you stay secure and not share any crucial data.

  1. Don’t share excess pictures

Some people keep sharing umpteen photos online! That might give you more reasons to worry. It’s always best to share a couple of pictures to let the person know how you look. After that, you can share other photos with someone with whom you develop a good connection.

These are some of the essential tips that you should exercise to stay secure while dating online. That way you can enjoy your dates without inviting any hassle.
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